He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.