we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.