got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.