Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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