I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
