If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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