Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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