I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
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You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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