Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
