There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night