The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...