Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
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Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
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Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon