I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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