they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.