Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor