her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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