You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
babies were throwing up all over the place
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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