I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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