you have to choose: penises or morals?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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