i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ketchup is God's man juice
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize