The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
