im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
