It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
