call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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