How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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