Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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