Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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