therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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