I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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