I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
