"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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