i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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