How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
