I'm drive I can fine osifer
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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