My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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