Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night

  (303): View more from Colorado

  lol who won

  (727): View more from Florida

  well im in the hospital right now so u tell me

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  (727): im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night (303): lol who won (727): well im in the hospital right now so u tell me http://tfl.nu/pmtb
  Replies (15) Good night (1689) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island

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  (508): Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island http://tfl.nu/2xq2
  Replies (5) Good night (3590) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.

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  (732): i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds. http://tfl.nu/8f3d
  Replies (8) Good night (5763) Bad night (1394)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!

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  (205): you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!! http://tfl.nu/1wys
  Replies (9) Good night (6382) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.

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  (503): No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school. http://tfl.nu/ym74
  Replies (7) Good night (7732) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Also pregame at mine tomorrow?

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  (917): My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat. (917): Also pregame at mine tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/3lzk
  Replies (3) Good night (3281) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.

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  (204): For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video. http://tfl.nu/6mdy
  Replies (6) Good night (3208) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI

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  (303): It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI http://tfl.nu/jysc
  Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.

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  (419): Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me. http://tfl.nu/g7iq
  Replies (10) Good night (1243) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.

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  (678): I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex. http://tfl.nu/mbc3
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see

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  (651): Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see http://tfl.nu/afr3
  Replies (6) Good night (1570) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems

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  (505): Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems http://tfl.nu/nr34
  Replies (3) Good night (448) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.

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  (731): It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked. http://tfl.nu/thm4
  Replies (4) Good night (703) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.

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  (570): well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore. http://tfl.nu/w1gn
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.

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  (320): The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/rgx7
  Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (179)

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