I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
