p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
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do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel