Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Found your dick twin last night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.