the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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