i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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