Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
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Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
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Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes