so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
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I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I look excited, but its just a facade.