so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...