Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.