Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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