a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment