My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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