I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
