I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
