____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize