Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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