eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
time to smoke my breakfast
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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