i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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