she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize