You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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