Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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