Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize