That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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