what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off