two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume