Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.