Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place