She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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