yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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